Title: G39 - Suicide and Grief

Intro: Suicide is not easy to talk about. It can be especially hard for friends and relatives who're left behind, haunted by questions such as, "What could I have said or done to prevent this? Or why would my loved one cause me so much pain?" The answers aren't easy either. But doctors at Mayo Clinic offer insight into some of them.

"WE DON'T EXACTLY KNOW WHY IT HAPPENED."

AS MONICA THINKS BACK ON THE DAY HER HUSBAND JACK TOOK HIS OWN LIFE, SHE SAYS IT SEEMED TO HAVE STARTED OUT LIKE ANY TYPICAL SUNDAY. HE WALKED HIS DOG WITH A NEIGHBOR. THEN JACK STARTED A BATCH OF HOMEMADE WINE. BUT THAT EVENING SOMETHING WENT HORRIBLY WRONG.

"SOMETHING COULD HAVE SNAPPED, SOMETHING COULD HAVE BEEN BUILDING UP."

IT WAS MONICA WHO FOUND HIM. THE GUN IN THE ROOM. SHE SAYS HER BELOVED JACK, A RETIRED PHYSICIAN, LOVING FATHER AND MODEL SHIP BUILDER WAS DEPRESSED. BUT SHE DIDN'T REALIZE HOW BAD IT WAS.

"JUST THINKING ABOUT THINGS MAKES ME TEAR UP STILL EVEN THOUGH TWO YEARS HAVE GONE BY."

BUT THE TEARS MONICA SHEDS NOW ARE NOT FOR HERSELF. THEY'RE FOR HER CHILDREN AND GRANKIDS. IT'S THEIR GRIEF AND QUESTIONS ABOUT WHY JACK DID IT AND WHAT THEY COULD HAVE DONE TO STOP HIM THAT ARE SO PAINFUL.

"IF HE THOUGHT HE WERE HURTING THE FAMILY, I'M SURE IT WOULD HAVE STOPPED HIM UNLESS HE WAS SO FAR DOWN."

DOWN INTO THE DESPAIR OF DEPRESSION. A PLACE WHERE SOME PEOPLE BECOME UNABLE TO THINK ABOUT ANYTHING OR ANYONE OTHER THAN RELIEF. PEOPLE GRIEVING SUCH A SUICIDE ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR LOVED ONE'S CHOSING DEATH OVER LIFE SAYS DR. J. MICHAEL BOSTWICK.

"WE LOOK AT SUICIDE AS A MANIFESTATION OF DIFFICULTY."

DIFFICULTY. HOPELESSNESS. LOSS OF INTEREST. THE WARNING SIGNS.

"THINGS LIKE BEING OLD, BEING IN PAIN, BEING SERIOUSLY DEPRESSED, ABUSING ALCHOHOL OR OTHER DRUGS."

IF YOU DO NOTICE THESE WARNING SIGNS, CALL A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER. FOR YOUR LOVED ONE AND YOURSELF. INTERVENTION CAN HELP IN MANY CASES. AND AFTER GETTING THE HELP SHE NEEDED, MONICA IS HEALING AND LEARNING TO GO ON.

FOR MEDICAL EDGE, I'M VIVIEN WILLIAMS.

Tag:Monica says that in addition to talking to a psychiatrist she also wrote in a journal. It helped her to express and sort out her feelings.

For more information, visit our Website at www.mayoclinic.org/medical-edge.

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